My Bf Has A Gambling Problem
- My Bf Has A Gambling Problem Occurred
- My Fiance Has A Gambling Problem
- My Bf Has A Gambling Problem Solving
- My Partner Has A Gambling Problem
- My Bf Has A Gambling Problem Involving
- My Bf Has A Gambling Problem Among
How to Tell if You Have a Gambling Problem. A mutual aid group, Gamblers Anonymous, has developed a 20 question gambling problem quiz. This self-assessment helps a person answer the question of how to tell if you have a gambling problem. Questions focus on the consequences someone can experience due to gambling. Each time I have tried to talk to my husband about his gambling, he has turned on me with such anger and resentment. He said the reason he gambles is that it relaxes him. And he adamantly said he does not want me to question him on this again. Meanwhile, we owe money to the I.R.S and are facing our lease to end on.
The effects of someone’s gambling can extend to well beyond just the gambler. They can affect a partner, child, parent or friend. This is the account of a Minnesotan whose husband was a problem gambler.
- My boyfriend of five years has a serious gambling problem. He recently went to Vegas to go visit his family and hasnt called me for 5 days due to his gambling of course. He knows or fears that I will get on him for his gambling so he just doesnt call at all.After the first year that I was with him I realized that he had a gambling addiction but I stuck by his side due to the fact at that point.
- Learn about compulsive gambling. When family members understand that gambling addiction is a.
The idea of addictive gambling is something I’d never even thought about. I’d always thought gambling was just a fun activity that people enjoyed … sort of a night out and a form of entertainment. I didn’t know what a compulsive gambler was and had no reason to think about it. When you’re in love with someone, it’s the last thing you think about.
That changed after I learned more about my husband. The first sign that something was wrong was when he asked me to lend him some money so that his dad could get a new water heater for his car. At first, I didn’t give it a second thought. But a few weeks later when I saw my father-in-law I asked him how his car was working. He gave me a surprised look. I explained that my husband had told me about his car problem and that I’d given money to help out. He told me that never happened … and so I began to wonder what was going on.
After that, I started noticing that my husband spent increasing amounts of time gambling at the casino. I remember asking him why he couldn’t just gamble every few months or so. But he couldn’t stop. He couldn’t go more than three weeks without gambling.
Sometimes, he would spend his whole paycheck on gambling. When that would happen, he’d have a hard time facing me so he would stay at his father’s. And when he finally did come home he would be very remorseful and tell me how sorry he was and he would promise me that it wouldn’t happen again.
His gambling got worse. We had made special plans for a trip to celebrate my fiftieth birthday and saved up some money. But then I learned that he’d spent the trip money on gambling. It seemed that anything that was stressful was a trigger for him to gamble.
I convinced him to attend Gambler’s Anonymous while I started going to Gam-Anon. That experience really opened my eyes to the extent of the problem and what had been going on. However, it didn’t help my husband. He said he didn’t fit in and that he was really going for me and not for himself.
I was told at my first Gam-Anon meeting that it would get worse before it got better. The group also taught me about “enabling” the gambler. I realized that I was enabling him by lending him money after he lost all of his so he could get through the week buying gas and work lunches. So the next time he asked to borrow money I said, “No” and he had a fit. He actually went into a rage and threw away his wedding ring, which we never did find. So yes, it did get worse instead of better, and we eventually separated.
My Bf Has A Gambling Problem Occurred
My husband finally admitted that he did have a gambling problem but promised me he was done gambling. He also told the clergy (his cousin) that the whole marriage breakdown was due to his gambling and that he was not going to gamble anymore because he loved his wife. But just four days later I learned that he left work early to go to Treasure Island.
I also learned that his trips up north to visit his brother were trips to the casino. I discovered this when he called me from a casino and didn’t actually hang up his phone completely. I heard the sounds of the casino.
We eventually got divorced. I still love him and I know he still loves me, but he also understands what he put me through and he knows there is no way we could have a life together given that he still gambles. He has told me over and over how sorry he is. I have forgiven him and understand that it’s an illness. I also understand that there is help for those that want to stop gambling.
There have been nights when he’s called me in tears about his gambling. I’ve told him that he needs to get into a 30-day program and I’ve even given him the phone number. But when he wakes up in the morning, he’s changed his mind and says he just needed to talk to me. I know it’s something he can’t allow himself to sleep on. He has to go when he feels the need.
I’ve learned a lot through this experience. For one, people think they can change other people, but they can’t. All you can do is keep encouraging them.
It’s very difficult being the spouse of a person with a gambling problem. You’re afraid to leave your husband for a weekend to spend time with your girlfriends. That’s no way to live. I could not live in crisis day in and day out, always knowing there was a little calm before the storm, having to hide my money and never knowing if what he said was the truth or a lie.
Hi everyone,
I posted here about a week ago. My son is addicted to gambling. A week ago he was going to stop. Now he is going to 'get it under control.' It is impossible to talk to him about this horrible addiction ( compulsive gambling ) unless he comes to me first. And, unfortunately, that is when he has lost. I do not know what to do to help him. How do you watch a loved one destroy himself?? I can barely function. I live 100 miles away from the nearest Gam-Anon, and their meetings are on an evening when I can not go due to work. My son will not ask for help. He is young, proud, and, I imagine, afraid. Thank you for listening.
Jane
Maybe it would help if you found an ex-gambler that could give him some talking to, or show him some people that are in deep in gambling and ask him if that is how he wants to be.
Just a suggestion.
Thank you for the suggestion. I do not know any one, but perhaps I will try to find someone. It is a good suggestion. I am open to any suggestions. At this point I am desperate. I am sorry, I know I need to try to live my own life. I try. Most of the time I do, even if only barely. Sounds terrible, I know. I have got to figure out how to deal with this. I wish I did not live so far from any help.
Jane
Hi Jane,
I am a Compulsive Gambler... but can help you. I know that sounds very weird, but I've have 9 years of experience working in a support group for acting out kids and adult kids. Every addiction imaginable, murder, gangs, runaways and mental illness... you name it. So... If you would like I can help you through this.
My heart goes out to you.
Terri
Hi Terri,
Thank you for your offer to help. I very much appreciate it. I know I should not let this affect me so, but at this time it is. I feel for you, a cg. We are all in this together. I hope to help others, also. Do you have any suggestions? Yes, I do need help through this.
My Fiance Has A Gambling Problem
Thank you. Jane
I printed some of the pages off of this message board and showed it to my husband and let him know that I joined - I did not say much more than that but he did seem kind of interested and then when he wanted to try 'the allowance idea' he kind of hinted that I should post that question to see the feedback that I got and he really liked a couple of your guys responses - So, try it out. Don't badger him with it - just hand him some pages and let him read - Maybe he'll join.
God Bless and Protect Us ALL - Take Care.
Anita
Hello Anita, and others,
I have told him about this site. At the time he was determined to quit. He said he would check this site out, but he did not. Now, a week later, he is giving into the impulses, and says he will not. He says he can quit, or 'control' his gambling on his own. He cannot. I am terribly frightened for him...
I just had a thought. I have asked my son to visit this site. At first he said he would, a week later 'no.' (As I believe I said already) Do any of you have an idea on how I can, or if there is something I can say to him to get him to come to this site? I am careful with what I say to him, I do not tell him what to do. Only try to suggest. Right now he seems to be literally going crazy, because he is trying to stop.
Thank you again, and the best to all of you. Jane
Hi Jane, I'm a Compulsive Gambler.
It's unfortunate, but most of us can't get help until we admit we are powerless over gambling. Any thoughts we have that we can control it or limit it is really just another way the disease warps our thinking. And yes, he probably is literally going crazy...I was totally shocked at the feelings of withdrawal I had when I first became gambling-free.
My heart goes out to you...keep coming here for support!
My Bf Has A Gambling Problem Solving
Take care. Shelley.
Hello,
I am trying to understand this addiction (compulsive gambling ). It is hard to understand. I would understand more if I were a cg. I have never had the desire to gamble, drink, or do drugs. I do not understand why some do, and some do not. I know we all have difficult things to deal with, why some of us turn to something destructive, and others don't I do not know. There are those studying this. Our brains are all different.I know no one starts gambling for the reasons they now gamble, if they are a cg. My son started, for one reason, simply because it was there. EVERYWHERE. We live in Nevada. He makes bets on sports. He knows a lot about sports.
He won a lot of money, at first. He saw a program on t.v. about people making a 6-7 figure living betting on sports. That did it. He thought he could become wealthy. Others do. Yes, they actually do. But what kind of life do they have? Are they able to keep families? And, what is the percentage of those that do make a living at this? VERY small. Now he is addicted, and it is, perhaps HAS, destroyed him. He is very young (20's). When his brother was in college I went to an orientation at the college. They told us that college students' (there) biggest serious problem is not drinking, is not drugs, it is gambling. This is SO terrible. I wish the absolute very best for all of you. Hang in there. You deserve a good life. I do not think I can keep coming here and laying my problems on you. I will keep you in my thoughts, and prayers. I simply am feeling too down, too lost, to burden you who are dealing with this demon.
Shelley, artist block is when you are an artist, and you do not do your art. I teach art classes at the community college---I paint for class because I have to. But my own work, it does not get down. My worries get in the way. I have won many awards with my art, could do a lot with it. But my heart is just not in it.
I am sorry for the down mood today. I feel I may never get my son back. I am scared, and, as I said, will not bring this to you. I really do wish all of you the best. Please keep doing good.
Jane.
Jane,
please don't pull away from the site...no matter what you are feeling there is someone else out there who feels the same. Maybe there are other Moms out there who have been here and read your posts, not thinking to reply, but taking comfort in knowing they are not alone. You are feeling lost, scared and depressed. I can't possibly know what you are going thru because I'm on the other side of compulsive gambling, but I do know that it's times like this we NEED to reach out for help. You mentioned that the nearest Gam-Anon meeting is miles away? There should be a phone number, for you to get in contact with someone from the group. Please try...even if you can't make a meeting, maybe there is some alternative that is available. Just call!! Make that one small step to help yourself feel a little more pro-active in this problem. As a CG, I have absolutely no idea what the basic program is for Gam-Anon. I wish there was another member here that was involved in Gam-Anon.
Please don't stop posting. Share your feelings, no matter how hard it seems. You are NOT burdening me! The more I progress in my recovery, the more I want to help others recover...and that includes those that are affected by a CG. Please, Jane, just try making the call to Gam-Anon. You have nothing to lose but a little long-distance charge, and maybe everything to gain.
Take care of you.
Shelley
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my son
By jane - Posted on December 31st, 2007
My Partner Has A Gambling Problem
Tonight I was reading the posts on Paul's blog, and saw the gambling helper web address. It reminded me of how I met Paul---it was at the gh site. I posted here often, about my son, who is bets on sports. I am not sure anyone will remember; or if anyone is here any longer. It does not look like the site is active. Paul and I communicated often, and he was a big help. As were others here. Here is an update:
My Bf Has A Gambling Problem Involving
My son tryed to quit off and on for some time. Then one day he decided to go to GA meetings. His father and I went with him the first day. He and his father cried at the meeting, hearing what they were hearing. I had already heard such stories, and it was not such a shock to me as it was to them. My son kept going, and it did help. Then he stopped going very often.
Then-------------almost two years ago a new treatment center for gambling addiction opened in the town where he lives. His father and I asked him if he would go, and he said yes. And, he did. He attended meetings there four evenings a week, and 3 evenings a week he went to GA meetings. The treatment program was for about 2 months. He never missed a meeting. I attended meetings for family members twice a week, driving almost 100 miles one way. The more I learned about the addiction, and also the role his father and I had in it (enabling, etc.) the better we were able to help him. (And ourselves.) The treatment center was a life saver. One of the good things about the center, it only costs $5 a meeting. If you do not have the $5, you do not have to pay. They really do want to help the cg. After finishing the program my son turned his finances over to me. I handled his finances for about a year, and now his girlfriend does. He has had one relapse in the last year, but is doing very well. I see the son I had before this nightmare returning more every day. There is hope.
jane